I usually am not a big believer in warning labels, figuring they are there for the 1 in a million chance that something freakish may happen and primarily function to keep lawyers employed. I ignore warning labels, don't wear the appropriate amount of sunblock and have even been known to drive short distances at slow speeds without a seatbelt. That's right, I like to live dangerously. So when I saw a small warning label on the bag of Sugar-Free Twizzlers I bought for a late snack, I was unconcerned.
In small yellow letters, it reads: "Individuals sensitive to sugar substitutes may experience symptoms similar to laxatives"
Well no shit. 90 minutes later and my guts are bubblin.
Damn you sugar free twizzlers- your vile siren song has vexed me for the last time.
Update: 10:25 PM- Cannot sleep. feel like there is a balloon in my intestine, and some jerk keeps blowing it up and then letting the air out. I cannot believe how messed up I am because of half a pack of twizzlers. This sucks. If this screws up my training tomorrow, I am going to really be pissed at everything. So stupid.
5 comments:
the sugar free twizzlers may have had a reaction with the aspartame from the 20 diet cokes you drink daily.
I had the same experience with sugar free jelly bellys two nights...NOT enjoyable. But there was no such warning on my package, I didn't know until I read this what happened to me. Unfortunate really.
do you really drink 20 diet cokes a day? Jon... JON--you know that stuff is liquid satan. there is nothing in soda that should be put into your body. phosphorous causes bone loss( that calcium leaching affect) and osteoporosis. now THAT will interfere with your training. I could continue to beat this point with the fact that sugar substitutes include a component of methyl alcohol which turns into formaldehyde in your body. to quote Rory and Kim, "laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking DRINK it".
oops, beers empty. gotta head to the shoppette.
for the record, I drink between 2 and 7 diet cokes per day. I would guess an average would be 4.5. I do not drink coffee like the rest of you.
Formaldehyde is delicious- Rory and Kim are talking out of their asses.
After closer inspection of my Sugar-free Jelly Belly bag I noticed a second and more specific warning:
"Consumption may cause stomach discomfort and/or laxative effect. Individual tolerance will vary, we suggest starting with 8 beans or less."
Now, tell me who the genius is that came up with the 8 beans or less figure...
Post a Comment