weight loss update

188 this morning. That's 20 lbs down in four months. Probably the healthiest and most personally significant weight loss I've ever accomplished because this time there were no external factors pushing me to do it (such as Drill Instructors, living on Ship or in 130-degree deserts)- this time it was all ME changing my diet and exercising a ton. Pretty easy plan really:

(~7 days a week)
Breakfast
Bagel or English muffin or bowl of cereal
diet coke

morning snack
32oz Fruit smoothie
32oz water or crystal light
power bar
diet coke

lunch
Tuna Pack
Trail mix or powerbar or beef jerky
32oz water
diet coke

afternoon snack
bag o chips
32oz water or crystal light
diet coke

dinner
1.5 portions of whatever we're having
1.3 childrens portions of whatever we're having
diet coke

before bed
32oz water or crystal light

As you may have guessed, I pee about 37 times a day.

----combined with the following PT------------
(mostly done during 2 hr lunch break)
Mon: Long swim 2-3K yards in pool
Tuesday: 20 Mile interval(fast/flat) bike, occasionally followed with 2-4 mile run
wednesday: Long Run. have ranged from 8-13 miles thus far, hoping to get up to 15-16... always at lunchtime- heat of the day!
thursday: 15-20 miles bike, Hill climbs Occasionally followed by run or 8-10 mile flat bike
Friday: Run/swim/run- run to the beach (2.5 miles) swim 1000 meters, run back (2.5 miles more)
saturday: 40-60 mile bike, occasionally followed by 4-6 mile run
sunday: play xbox 360 as much as wife allows.


Now that's the ideal week. I haven't actually accomplished this to 100% yet, I would guess in the average week I stick to this 70-80% or so.

So that's it. It's resulted in a little over a pound a week in weight loss.

I'm pretty close to the best shape of my life, I would guess. I've weighed less, had lower body fat, but I was also a smoker and heavier drinker (when given the option).

May is going to be a tough month in a lot of respects, I have a huge event that I'm running at work, and then follow that up with Triathlons: the MAG-24 sprint on May 10th, the Honolulu (olympic) Triathlon 18th and of course the Half Ironman on the 31st.

I'd have to say if I can finish this month strong it'll be pretty cool. I might even get stoked.

Discovered: the key to running fast.

I found it tonight. The Key to the fast mile.

Here's a graph (Awesome, I know) of the 4 miler I just completed in a stout 30:42, showing 1/4 mile pace...



Note the pronounced increase in pace around the halfway point, denoted as the "Holy Crap" moment. This is when everything changed, everything sped up, I sped up, and... flew...

What was the key?

this song started playing on my iPod.

That's right. That's what gets me running. Retardo pop.

Awesome.

Grand Theft Auto 4: Holy Crap

Maybe I don't pay attention to the news enough, but GTA IV is coming out tuesday and I saw a couple of videos of gameplay, one which made me go HUH??!?? (Click here)

Drunk Driving, Shooting Hookers after they perform "services", lesbian strip clubs... I have to admit, that's pretty far out there. I looked on foxnews.com to find some red alert piece about how our children are doomed but there's nothing.

I can't imagine that will last a week...

nicholesian movie trivia

all day Nicholas has been asking to watch an unknown movie, which he could only identify using the following clues:

"it has a big pink dog."

"there's a boy who is scared"

"and two little ugly people who are nice."

Bekah actually figured it out- I was amazed.

Take a guess as to what it was, then click here

Haleiwa Metric Century

Closed out a good training week in style today at the Haleiwa Metric Century, a 100K (62 Mi) ride from Haleiwa to Swanzy beach and back. I've done this ride three times, but today it was nice that it felt like any old training day and not some arduous journey. I hadn't intended to hammer the ride, just wanted to get time in the saddle

I started out with the main pack, probably 60-80 riders in a "peloton". There were a couple HACC guys I was staying close to so I had someone to talk to. I gotta admit, I don't really like riding in a big pack like that. I'm not super-uncomfortable, but there's very little margin for error when you have other guys on bikes cruising at 23-26 mph inches on every side of you, and there's so much air moving around that you don't have to work at all to stay in the pack. I was getting bored and figured "meh" and somewhere around the 15 mile point I dropped the ol mallet, screamed "HACC ATTACK" at the top of my lungs, shot about 200 yards in front of the group, promptly got tired and got passed by all of them.

Then I spent the rest of the ride noodling about with the other HACCers, made it back in 2:45 (ride time -10 min break at the halfway point) and scooted home and fell asleep with sammy. Bekah thought it cute enough to snap a photo. Aww.

Note to self: Avoid Sugar Free Twizzlers

I usually am not a big believer in warning labels, figuring they are there for the 1 in a million chance that something freakish may happen and primarily function to keep lawyers employed. I ignore warning labels, don't wear the appropriate amount of sunblock and have even been known to drive short distances at slow speeds without a seatbelt. That's right, I like to live dangerously. So when I saw a small warning label on the bag of Sugar-Free Twizzlers I bought for a late snack, I was unconcerned.

In small yellow letters, it reads: "Individuals sensitive to sugar substitutes may experience symptoms similar to laxatives"

Well no shit. 90 minutes later and my guts are bubblin.

Damn you sugar free twizzlers- your vile siren song has vexed me for the last time.

Update: 10:25 PM- Cannot sleep. feel like there is a balloon in my intestine, and some jerk keeps blowing it up and then letting the air out. I cannot believe how messed up I am because of half a pack of twizzlers. This sucks. If this screws up my training tomorrow, I am going to really be pissed at everything. So stupid.

The D40

Craigslist Posting:

nikon d40 - $550 (oahu)

---

Reply to: XXXXXXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-19, 10:47AM HST


Nikon d40 with 18-55 lens. Like new.

------------------------

Jon Writes:

do you still have the D40?

Would you accept a lower price? It's available for like $450 new... (see here) What would you accept?

thanks, Jon

------------

Cathy Writes:

If you want it at that price call that place you gave me a link to and get it there.
mahalo

------------

Jon:

Ok- best of luck on your sale! There's a sucker born every minute- hopefully one of them will buy your camera.

(OK, so I made a little Jab, but only in response to what I felt was uncalled for rudeness)

------------

Cathy:

Me selling mine to someone doesn't make them a sucker. You are full of sour grapes. I put almost 900 into my equipment ( tripod bags ect) I just think that if you have a link and a place to buy at such a low cost then you need to go to them. If you look in the paper here to get what I have new is over 600 on this island. You are one of those people that want something for nothing. I wouldn't sell it to you if you gave me 1000 I don't like you.


(Awww schnap. Target acquired. It's on.)
--------

Jon Writes:

Catherine- (feint and misdirect)Firstly, I like you- you have pride in yourself and your things, and are willing to defend what you believe in. Good for you! (she's not convinced)

If you paid 550 for a pre-owned camera that you could purchase for 450 elsewhere... that makes you 100 dollars poorer, no matter how much the seller invested or cared for his or her equipment. (common sense argument- probably useless)

I am not looking for something for nothing- just a good deal, which I why I like craigslist! (innocent enough)

Here's your camera, new, at Wal-mart for $490 http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5607412 (more common sense)

Best of luck!

-Jon

(door is open for closure by Cathy)

-----------

Cathy writes:

I still don't like you. Your a smart-ass.

(Cathy- you're a better judge of character than you are a salesman.)

-----------
Jon writes:

Cathy- now I love ya. So much so, I've decided to pour my marketing energy into your cause.

I know you're not big on links, but I'd suggest clicking on THIS ONE

That, my dear, is your new ad for your camera. It's got pictures, specs, capitol letters, exclamation points and proper punctuation. It's as good as it's gonna get.

Now, if I get any replies to that ad, I'm going to forward them right to your email address.

To catch a sucker, Cathy, you need the right bait. You're gonna get what you want for your camera.

Cathy, you're welcome.

(Win-Win for Jon-Boy. She either sells or doesn't sell, but undoubtedly my ad for the exact same thing is going to get more responses than hers- which blew goats- and she's grudgingly indebted to me. I love the grudging indebt. I've created discord and then gone out of my way to create harmony, in doing so gaining absolute advantage. She either sells the camera via my unrequested assistance, or I was right that she can't sell a used camera for $100 more than you can buy it new. There has got to be a way to make money off of this sort of vile trickery. Somebody send me to law school. )

Why do I love to argue so much?

Awwww....

I guess the first time one of your troops does something as uber-cute as zonks out in the middle of a Dr. Seuss book... well, you just have to show that off.

Failure

As you may well know, I move through life on the assumption that I am better than most people at most things, and when focused on any particular task or skill, given time I can be better than just about everybody- let's say the 99th percentile level or so. Before you cite my high school GPA or some other mediocre performance in my past, I easily write off such failures as examples of me not really caring enough to try- or redirecting back into my court- for example I will gladly tell you that I probably had the highest GPA of all the students who vowed never to do homework, which is what I did. Got A's on tests and projects, but never turned in many daily assignments. More on this at a later date- back to the topic du jour. I am convinced that I can do anything I set my mind to better than just about everybody- anything you can do I can do better. So when I run into something that I can't do, it's a big brick wall.

My latest unbeatable adversary: Quality Facial Hair

I secretly tried to grow a moustache over the last five days, for no reason other than to see if I could. I'm not really a big fan of having a moustache, but I'd like the option.

As I'm sure you are thinking, five days does not grow a decent moustache on even the manliest of men- Chuck Norris, Tom Selleck and Jesus would be notable exceptions. But nearly any full grown post-pubescent, testosterone producing man (and many Mediterranean women), if their upper lip were to go unshaved for 120 hours, would at least have a noticeable fuzz. I, as it turns out, cannot produce even the slightest Alabama Caterpillar. My feeble attempt went absolutely un-noticed.

No one at work, no one at school.

My wife didn't even notice. Cut me deep, she did. I kissed her every day, and no noticeable reaction from the added slight stubbliness.

I shaved the failing fuzz yesterday morning.

Is it odd that my Razors last me 6 months before going dull?



I have to re-think my place in this world.

Monday Bitchiness

They closed all but one of the 37 entrances to the gym today and harassed everyone for their ID's upon entry... I, as usual, had left mine in the car during PT, and had to waste five minutes retreiving it lest I be gang tackled and cavity searched by Dwight Schrute's clone, he and his security forces brethren thought it'd be fun to exercise what happens when they go to threat condition RED ALERT SHIT YOUR PANTS DELTA, which according to the official documentation should be officially instituted after worldwide total nuclear war but before the dead walk the earth and lucifer takes over. The gym was, of course, the only building on base that was given this treatment, not the Operations Center in charge of every USAF plane in the pacific, or the airfields servicing all of the state, or the numerous communications relays that serve 3000 miles in every direction- no! the terrorist's target has to be the building full of sweaty meatheads, dependasaurs, and base workers trying to squeeze half a workout into their lunch hour. This makes a lot of sense to me because if I were an al-qaeda operative scoping the base the first bunch of infidels I'd want to schwack is the 11:45 intermediate Tae-Bo class- a bunch of pissed off moms learning to kick ass the Oprah way. Target #2 would probably then have to be the food court, so we'd better put that sucker on lock down, say from the hours of 11 am- 1pm or so... hmmm where else... probably want to lock down the entrance at the front gate around 0700, then the exit at 4 pm or so... prime time that the terrorists would want to access the base.

The bottom line: if I have to jog with my freakin ID card stuffed in my jockeys in the heat of the day (Alas, I have no pockets) the terrorists have already won.

On a happy note, upon returning to the gym I was happy to hand my ID to Dwight for close inspection.

Saturday Duathlon

Woke up at 5:30 Saturday morning and headed out, teed off #1 at the K-Bay Klipper at 6:45 and farted out an 84 in 3 1/2 hours (still beat Adam, tho).... Quick transition to the two wheeled terror and rode 67 miles home via the north shore and Pineapple Hill, which also took 3 1/2 hours, if you include a water stop in Haleiwa.

Pineapple is a long hill, but it's longer when you hit it at mile 50. Even so I kept the mph right at 20 for the average on the whole day- had to do some downhill flying through mililani to get it back up, but made it.

To undo all the good healthy stuff I'd done all morning, I took a nap and ate way too much pizza.

more goodies

The little girl

Saw a 5-inch red centipede trying to enter my house via the open garage door tonight, without thinking stomped on it, wearing flip flops. One end of the little freakazoid came up and wrapped right around my big toe. I leapt 9 feet in the air, wiggled my leg like it was on fire and made all sorts of movements with my arms that I really hope didn't get videotaped. It fell off. It didn't sting me- either because I'd squashed the stingy end or it was just laughing so hard at what an idiot I was. I made several shuddery sounds, flicked it into the bushes with my wife's shoe, and closed the garage. I really hate those things.